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What is Domestic Violence?

If you are feeling like you are walking on Egg Shells then that is called domestic abuse/violence.

Domestic violence is any kind of abusive, violent, coercive, forceful or threatening act or word inflicted by one member of a household on another. Domestic Violence is a one of major human right issue across the globe. Unfortunately, New Zealand has one of the highest reported domestic violence incidence rates among developed countries.


Domestic Violence or Abuse can take many forms and can effect anyone. If you or someone you know are going through that, please call 111 or 08004357786/0800HELP786.

There are different types of abusive behavior:

Emotional Abuse: such as putting down. Emotional abuse includes Gaslighting Abuse as a very common form of emotional abuse. That is a form of brainwashing psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim by the abuser/s making her doubt her own memory and perceptions and attempts are made to make her believe that she is crazy. The manipulative abuser causes the victim to lose faith in her ability to manage or cope with the world and its demands.

Guilt Trip as another common form of emotional abuse which involves manipulation by the abuser to make a victim feel guilty about something she has or has not done. Abuser might tell the victim (unjustifiably) that she is too selfish, has it easy or religion and cultural norms are used as an excuse for that. It results in the victim feeling bad, doubt herself, anxious and in a submissive position.


Physical: slapping, pushing, punching, kicking or choking

Sexual: Forcing to do the things of sexual nature the person does not want to do.

Financial/Economic: Control over the money or not supporting financially.

Isolation: Forcing the person to stay away from the family or not to make friends.

Threats/Intimidation: Threatening to harm the person or her children, breaking things, looking at the victim in a scary way, showing guns or sharp objects to the victim.

Abuse has a particular pattern of behavior which keeps on getting worse with time if not stopped.


Click here to see Cycle of Abuse

Below is the Power and Control Wheel which would help you to understand the most common forms of abuse which are used to control intimate partners. The wheel shows that physical violence never occurs alone and is rather accompanied by other forms of abuse such as sexual, emotional, psychological and financial abuse. Power and Control Wheel was developed in the 1980s by women and children in Duluth, Minnesota, USA. Domestic abuse workers asked them to tell about the most common ways in which they were getting abused. The wheel is now being used all around the world to help the people understand the nature of power/control and abuse and what is happening to the abused person.




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When domestic abuse happens children see and hear everything. Research reveals that violent homes have the same effect on children’s brain as combat does on soldier which makes them a domestic violence victim as well.

Please view the figure below based on research to know more about some of the ways children use to cope when they witness domestic abuse.

Warning Signs and What to Do

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